How to Get Your Girlfriend Back

Knowing how to get your girlfriend back is only half the battle, but right now, it's probably the only thing that matters to you. Every guy has been where you're standing at this very moment, trying to get back with your woman and rekindle what once was. If your girlfriend has stopped loving you, there's nothing in the world harder than reclaiming lost love.

But if the two of you have split up and there are still embers of love and romance in the ruins of your relationship, there are certain actions you can take to end the hurt, distrust and anger between the two of you. If getting back with your girlfriend is what you want to do, though, you're going to have to take decided steps to turn things around.

Analyze the Situation

Let's start with a common point when guys starting reading dating websites: when you think a breakup is immanent, but it hasn't happened yet. Rome wasn't built in a day, and Rome didn't fall in a day. Just like Rome, relationships tend to deteriorate for a time, before they end.

Analyse your romance and see whether that's where you're head. Here are some warning signs to look for, if you think your girlfriend wants to break up with you.

If one of these is happening, it might be that she's busier right now or that something else is on her mind. But if several of these warning signs cluster at once, you're almost certainly headed towards a breakup. Now's the time to take action.

Communication is Important

How to Get Girlfriend BackBe straightforward and try to open a line of communication with her. Tell her you sense something is wrong in the relationship, that there's a certain reserve or a lack of romance. Tell her you want to discuss the problem and find a way to make things better. Most relationships end, because the two people don't communicate with one another. You're showing you're willing to listen to her and make the necessary changes to bring back the romance and make her happy.

At this point, she's going to do one of several things.

  1. Deny there's anything wrong.
  2. Deny there's anything wrong and seem mystified that you think there is.
  3. Be hesitant to confirm or deny, either because she's found another man and she hasn't found a way to tell you about it, or that she there is a problem, but she's been caught by surprise, so she doesn't know how to start listing off the things she's unhappy about.
  4. Opens up and tell you exactly what's on her mind. In this case, the two of you can begin to repair your relationship.

Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back: Denial

In the case she gives a flat denial, you have to read your girlfriend. In most cases, if a woman doesn't want to talk about your relationship and the romantic part of your life, she's got something to hide. The flat denial is a bad sign (See #3).

Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back: Emphatic Denial

In the case she gives a flat denial and is completely mystified you're starting this conversation, it's possible you're being paranoid and something else is the problem. Tell her that you want your relationship to be strong and you sensed a change in her mood or behavior. Tell her, whether she is worrying about something outside the relationship, or inside it, that you want to be there for her. Let her know you care about her and that she should feel comfortable confiding in you.

Hopefully, the two of you can talk about what's on her mind and get it worked out. You're going to have to accept what she says at face value, because you don't want to be a paranoid. If she gives the emphatic denial and breaks up with you within the week, don't blame yourself, because she's being a flake. You tried and that's all you can do.

If this doesn't lead to an admission or her confiding in you her troubles, tell you must have imagined something and you're not good at reading women sometimes, tell her once that you care about (or love) her and that you want to be close, then move on. Once again, there's nothing to do now, but go back to being normal.

Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back: Hesitation

If she's hesitating to speak openly about what's troubling her, ask her "Is there something you want to tell me?"

This is a great all-purpose line, because it sounds like you want her to confide in you, and she may do just that. At the same time, if she is hiding something from you, like another guy, it sounds like you have your suspicions and you're going to know if she's lying to you. So she's more likely to lay it on the line and tell you what's up.

Either way, the truth comes out and you're better off for it. The 4th option provided is the one you hope for, and we've already gone over that happy ending.

What If She's Broken Up with You?

If your girl has already broken up with you, it's time to go into damage control. Most women (and men) try to avoid confrontation, so if she's already gone to the trouble to break up with you, she's probably got it settled in her mind that you're yesterday's news.

In this case, coming on strong is usually not the right idea. When women are pursued, they tend to run. If she's tired of your act and is looking around at other men, the last thing she wants is more of your nonsense. And if she has another man, you're being a real drag wasting her time with your heartache.

Here's what you do:

1. Tell Her How You Feel - Let her know, ONCE, what she means to you and that you want to rekindle the love. Remind her of the good things you had together and cite specific times, places and words to bring home that remembrance.

You can write a letter or note to this effect, if you have trouble expressing your spoken words. I recommend against that option, unless you're such a waste the other way, that speaking of your feeling face-to-face offsets the negative image that handing her a note, like a girl, might give off. If you do write her a letter, don't make it a 9-page manifesto. Tell her how you feel, give a few examples to show her how you feel, then close the letter with a respectable and masculine ending.

2. Get Out of Her Way - Don't hang around all night cramping her style. You'll do no good chasing her around all night or all week or trying to talk to her on the phone. Let your words sink in, but let that be the lasting memory of you.

If you continue to bother her, whatever positive impression your talk with her had is going to be lost in the mix. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and when you completely get out of her life, she's start to notice that's missing. Eventually, she's going to wonder what you're doing and, most of all, why the heck you're not chasing her around anymore.

Now this might take some time. It's probably not going to work overnight. You have to be strong and resolute. Be prepared if that's how it ends, but at least you went out with a good performance.

In either case, let time do its work. Time is your friend, whether you think it is or not. If she got tired of you, she's going to get tired of this other guy. That's how women are - especially young women. The more time they spend around one another, the more likely it is he'll say something or do something that compares unfavorably against how you handle your business, and the less likely a comparison between the two of you is going to be colored by her infatuation with him.

I've seen this before, though. Eventually, she's going to come back around. You might have moved on by then, but you're better off, if that's the case. She's going to wonder what's on your mind, whether you "still love her" and why you don't come around anymore. She had you at a point, but apparently she doesn't, now.

Whether that's the case or not, be truthful when she asks. If you've moved on, tell her. If you still have feelings, tell her. Either way, you've maintained your dignity and given her something to chase, instead of you chasing her around like a puppy dog all the time. You want her to think of you as a man, not a puppy, so show her you can take rejection like a man.

3. Stay Active - Whether you start dating immediately or not is up to you. Either you move on by seeing other women or not, stay active. Do your thing. Keep your head held high. Don't mope.

Staying active means staying socially active. Talk to people. Go out at night. Find ways to meet people and improve your position. This is a good policy, whether you have to find a new love, or whether you want her thinking you're moving on.

The last thing you want is for her to think you're sitting at home every night, waiting for her. Think about it: that's the best case scenario for her. She gets to go out with friends and meet other people, and maybe even date other guys. Meanwhile, she has you on a string. She knows you'll "be there for her" if it doesn't work out with this other guy, or if she gets bored.

Under no circumstances do you let her think she's got you unconditionally, even if that's how you feel. Part of getting your ex girlfriend back is handling public relations - a big part of it is public relations. You want to handle the flow of information back to her as much as you can: you still have feelings, but you have options.

If you actually have options, your message is helped. So if it's possible for you to meet other girls or be seen with other girls, that's a good thing. If she has lingering feelings for you, a little jealousy won't hurt. If she no longer has feelings and she could care less what you do, you disengage with as much grace as is possible in these situations. When trying to impress women, it never hurts to act like a man.

How to Get Your Girlfriend Back - Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow

In the end, it's her decision: you have to understand that. If she broke up with you, she has the power in the relationship. She can cut you off and you're going to have to deal with it.

That's cool, though. The only thing that gives her the power is you want it more than she does. If your love for her and the good memories of what you had together aren't enough to make her want to stay in the relationship, all the begging, pleading, crying and chasing is not going to do the trick. Breakups are as simple as that.